(:

.Saturday, February 25, 2012 ' 9:03:00 PM Y

i feel stress. it's from within.
and im the one emitting the stress.

i donno what i want plus
i feel scared of what life holds for me...

i don want to deal with these alone.
though having been so 'independent' (in a way) for the past 21 years,
i dont think i can handle those major issues on my own.
seriously not confident at all.
im really still a child. not grown up at all.

aft the talk with gor, i really think a lot.

but many of the issues i've tot bout it before.

i know the heavy responsibilities i have to shoulder as the only child.
with my future income, i dont feel optimistic about providing well...

i guess i need someone by my side, eventually.
a guy who is matured
a responsible one
someone who can make me feel safe
not too serious at times; can make me laugh out loud.
a guy who loves me and my parents.

it's really difficult to meet one.

so my family members and friends who have met their mr right,
u are really fortunate. i feel really happy for u gals!

havin not been in any bg r/s before, at this age in this century, it's really weird.
during cny visitings, i feel the stress already.
aunties keep asking bout "hey u no bf arh?"...
"i hope to hear yr good news next year"

i think my personality is weird too..
sometimes i feel tt my heart can skip a beat for someone...
anxiously waiting for some smses...
then the next moment, i dont care.

or isit tt i dont think there's a pt in going further cause it hard for u to be my possible partner?
aft listening to gor, i think im like him...
i look for prospective partner.
there's no point in going for temporary sweetness.

nvtheless as a girl, i still wish for some guy to ask me out, etc.
the one who's brave enough.

maybe there are ppl who like me,
or maybe im thinking too much. cause no experience.

if I watched movie with a guy, is it tt i like him? or i just want to try it out?
and another occasion have dinner tgt.
but i figured out it may be hard to work out.
does he likes me if
his sms are so irregular and not frequent.
but the words typed seriously seems more than friends...
i really dono...
if u like someone, wont u want to hear her voice or sms her at least?
im the first to msg, then u say u misses me..
i really dont understand...
maybe it's so inconsistent, my crush on u die down...
isit just a passing phase?

if a guy ask a gal for dinner before cca in sch, is it tt he likes her?
possibly not but... who knows? my 6th sense tells me probably.
but im not looking forward to this..
kindof divert away from the qns...

then sometimes another guy's words can send shiver down my spine...
the use of "my xx"... and using horoscope to test my reactions.. i guess.
now seems okay...

then lately i think im captivated by another guy.
will wait impatiently for his reply on fb.
well, dont have his no...
i guess he's not interested though.. ;(
but cant help but to look at him..
from what i see thus far, he seems to be a good choice for partner.
im the traditional kind. i believe a guy shld ask a gal out.
but sometimes i cant help but to start the conversation first.
i feel kindof safe...

I love pink & black ❤